The first thing you will need to recognize is that conversation is a complex skill. Though it may come easily and seem automatic to you, speaking is never a smooth process for me. Suppose I am asked a question, “Would you like to go to the store now?” First, I have to figure out the literal meaning of this. Which store? Does “now” mean immediately, or could it mean in ten minutes? By “like” do you really mean to ask if I would enjoy such an outing? Or is this something I will be required to do, if not “now” then later?

Once that is sorted out, there is the subtext to consider. Are you asking me to go with you or alone? Are you going to be upset if I choose the “wrong” answer? I will need to interpret this in the context of what came directly before, and also any history I have with you about “going to the store.” I will need to observe your facial expression which, like your speech, I will need to analyze one part at a time. Is that a real smile or fake? To know this, I understand that I must check the eyes; I think I know that a raised eyebrow means impatience, but is this with me or something else? I will need to interpret the tone of your voice and also see if this fits with what the facial expression and posture seem to indicate.

Now I am ready to construct a reply. If I say simply “Yes, I am ready,” will this be taken as overly formal, or will you think for some reason that I mean the opposite? Is my face expressing the right level of agreement. I know that the word “sure” can be misinterpreted as sarcasm, so I won’t use that one. “Okay,” in this situation might possibly sound like I think I’m being coerced. So the answer is, “Yeah, lets go now.”

But it’s too late! You are already going into detail about how I never want to do anything.